Musing

Things that don't affect the outcome are irrelevant whether they happen or not; it all depends on your interest. Change brings flexibility, flexibility brings growth, growth brings mastery of the world. We always hate someone with a passion that cuts to the bone, only to discover one day that what wounded us was merely the emotion of an independence we had no right to claim. Whatever exists is reasonable. When judging right and wrong in others, remember: I too am human, and have my own right and wrong, so my words are not entirely trustworthy. When love at first sight becomes self-infatuation, love is nothing more than the hasty comfort of a quick match. The true aim of science is to transform the precise calculations of reason into the awakening of feeling. The blinds are drawn; the crabapple heart takes flight; blood soaks the sand-needle dreams into a sunken sorrow. Whether to go or stay, only God knows; but whether to leave or remain, that is mine to decide. In dreams, flowing water and fallen blossoms appear; one cup of drunken tears, one cup of sighs. A man who lives in fantasy will inevitably despise every unpleasantness in reality, then blame it on the injustice of heaven, and to the last day uphold his own terrible self-conceit. The winds that blew past, the snow that drifted by, that calm at a few degrees below zero; my melancholy, my joy. So-called happiness and joy are sometimes nothing more than a state of mind. No one deceived me; I simply trusted myself too much. Scholars are weak; only through despicable means do they become strong. I refuse to stoop, so I have always been a weakling. The sword is already fast, but faster than the sword is the human heart. Life is nothing more than a clear, quiet, beautiful glass-like dream—struggling between life and death, wandering amid love and hate, prostrating before fame and fortune, tossing and sighing in helplessness, confusion, pain, and release. Dreams cannot be used to redeem reality; all we can do is bravely open our eyes, seize the first ray of dawn that pierces the darkness, and follow it to find the sun. In an erroneous era, an erroneous I was born; I mistakenly believed I was absolutely without error, and in the end, everyone will prove me wrong. The better the memory, the more it tears the heart. The better the person, the more it fills the eyes with tears. In fact, a university is nothing more than a lavishly decorated restroom... I remember an interviewer once asked me whether it was the wind that moved or the heart. I think I understand now... No matter how the wind moves, if my heart doesn't move, I remain myself. The heart may stir a thousand times, but the wind stands still; if the heart doesn't die, the wind doesn't move. The former is obsession, the latter is fate. The former is holding to one's original heart, the latter is breaking convention. The former is cultivation, the latter is flexibility... In truth, the path of life was laid out by heaven long ago: ages 0-6, nothing to do with you; 6-18, study; 18-30, enter society and test the waters, feed yourself or get a relationship and feed two; 30-50, build a family, toil for a living; 50-60, know your fate; after 60, wait to die... So if you're confused, it's because at the moment you should be doing one thing, you were thinking of another. Studying while thinking of romance; romancing while thinking of grandchildren; and once you have grandchildren, thinking of starting over... 87 years ago, the March 18 Massacre; Liu Hezhen was killed, and Mr. Lu Xun was consumed with rage. 87 years later, the creation and subversion of Lijiang's people left this old monk utterly speechless... One person shameless is no big deal; Ruhua and Sister Feng are at most the stench before a toilet is flushed, idle gossip fodder. One generation shameless doesn't matter either; the shamate of this world will eventually be smoothed out by the tide of society. But a whole nation collectively without shame—no matter how powerful the technology, it's all nonsense. What kind of great nation with five thousand years, vast territory, and endless scholarship can you talk about? What six ancient capitals, three sovereigns and five emperors, the contention of a hundred schools of thought? A country that has abandoned its culture and history is a centipede—dead but not yet stiff... Sometimes, our regret comes from using the head when we should have used the heart. Without the surging waves of the great sea, one small wave after another appears, yet feels vivid and delicate. The breeze carries a faint or thick briny scent, blowing against unshielded skin; the nerves tremble for a moment without warning, then adapt, and come to enjoy this heroic sense of "I own heaven and earth." Yet the neon lights before you stare straight through you, emanating the city's ever-decaying sin. The rumbling engine of the patrol boat leaves a string of dazzling white light in your mind, and your fortress of spirit begins to crumble. At that moment, a firefly-like glimmer flickers in the distance; in the thin veil of night, you sigh softly—oh, so this is me. Human short-term memory is like computer memory: too many distractions, and eventually it runs out. So even though we live in an age of multitasking, what needs to end must end as soon as possible... PS: nothing to do with romance, nothing to do with current events, just a small artistic touch... The same article appearing simultaneously in two well-known magazines—even though it's the same author and excerpted from the same journal—clearly isn't because you're outstanding enough. Readers don't buy two books to verify how great a particular article is, so great that everyone fights to read it. Certain parties are disappointing. While resource optimization is indeed important and modern people need this kind of literary fast food, excessive excerpts leave the original journal with no face—what about the place of original literature? Damn you... When you can't fall asleep, don't force it. Take advantage of that hazy time to recall the unforgettable memories, and plan what to do tomorrow or the day after. Because only in the dead of night can you hear your own heartbeat; only when you can't see anything can you feel your truest self... Then a line comes to mind: "The night gave us black eyes," we agreed to seek the light together, but you secretly put on colored contacts... You can give up prosperity, you can give up love, you can even give up dignity and personality—but you cannot give up life, because it belongs to everyone; it's part of everyone's feelings; it never belonged to you alone, and you have no right to give it up. At any time, the only thing you can and should have is hope... Brothers... Nothing is harder than life and death. Since heaven has kept us safe, problems will always find a solution. If one day you're truly cornered, heaven itself will come to end your pain. So as long as you're alive, don't give up, all right... God said: patience is a virtue. I said: there is a limit to what can be endured. God said: patience brings calm. I said: when there's nothing left to endure, there's no need to endure further. God asked: tell me about it. I said: it's time to cook again. God was shocked: Tianshui doing chores? I said: just turning on a computer trips the breaker, my nose is too sensitive for my own good—God, please take them away... Then a clap of thunder split the sky, and a few lines drifted from afar: "I, the Emperor, have long ceased to meddle in mortal affairs; the Three Realms' matters cannot be received, cannot be received. I have other business; I'm leaving. If you wish to eradicate this matter, please dial 110, press 0 to transfer to the Tathagata Buddha; he may have a way to resolve it." In the old days, when we spoke, we said whatever came to mind. When a group chatted and suddenly fell silent, no one spoke, and then we all laughed. Now when we meet, at most we ask if you have a partner and when you'll get married. You ask me where I work and how it's going, and I say I'm doing all right somewhere, then we start talking about how the industry isn't doing well these days, or how the prospects are good but the competition is too intense. Then I say the climate here is bad, the air quality there is too poor. Finally, you say you've got something to do and will head out, call me when you get to a certain city. I say good, just so-and-so, so let's leave it at that. Then after walking a few steps, we both sigh in unison: times have changed, people's hearts have scattered, and the old feeling is gone. Walking too many night roads, you inevitably stumble, and then see enemies in every shadow, and your heart grows small. Mao San set down his pen, stretched, and let out a long breath. Outside the window, in this sleepless city, the street still held a few dim yellow lights. Night clubs kept spilling out false eyelashes and blood-red lipsticks, while the small stalls on both sides of the road sent up steam. The old lady making flatbread, slightly stooped, carefully counted the bills in her hands. In truth, the relationship between people is exactly like the relationship between a person and a pair of glasses... Jesus said: "Enter through the narrow gate." He told us: "For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." When one's craft is not yet refined, taking one's place among the masters brings ridicule but no shame; facing criticism, one can remain composed. Though lacking natural talent in this field, one still studies tirelessly, neither clinging to old methods nor acting recklessly. After years of accumulation, one will inevitably stand out and become a master of both virtue and craft, unrivaled in one's time. ~Reader Defying the norm—either it brings sudden enlightenment, or it leads to being lost. Some say this old monk has been a bit gossipy lately. The old monk observed the heavens at night, calculated on his fingers, and sure enough, lost his composure, lost his composure... When a caterpillar basks in the sun on a leaf, a snail, with its heavy shell, slowly sighs through the shade; while a worker bee toils for the queen, a butterfly lingers among the flowers, loath to leave. The affairs of the world have no reason to explain; what seems fated may yet hold a thread of hope. But a butterfly remains a butterfly, a worker bee remains a worker bee, and no one understands the snail's sorrow... Life holds too many uncertainties, like the picture of a jigsaw puzzle. But when you've walked every path and look back, you find that every event in life is interlocked. To complete the picture, you must either plan every step carefully, or dare to err and turn back in time. So, don't dwell on the past; that's the experience you need to walk toward success... How does one truly know they've loved? When Pisces stops running; when Leo kneels; when Aquarius seriously says "I love you"; when Scorpio becomes gentle; when Capricorn starts writing poetry; when Virgo stops seeking perfection; when Taurus sees through material things; when Cancer abandons the backup option; when Gemini stops looking both ways; when Libra sets down principles; when Sagittarius learns to cling; when Aries says "I'm willing to wait" for you. They have surely all truly loved. A thing needs a thousand reasons to begin, but only one excuse to give up. And so life drifts on in resignation, growing ever more distant... If you love someone, it isn't about buying them water after class, texting back and forth, or singing, chatting, and dining together on weekends. It is about being an outstanding person. In the future, others may love her too. What you must do is surpass everyone else. You must become excellent—more excellent than anyone. Believe that the future is not only unknown; love can change reality. Good night, everyone. The line "this is a desolate city in the rain" made Delingha's night so pale... When you complain, take a moment to think carefully: in the present space and time, are you already performing at your best? Have you done your utmost before heaven, earth, and your own conscience? Sometimes being too attached to the negative makes you abandon the positive that should have continued. Yet without deeply investigating the negative, how can one know the unknown positive? A sparrow flying three feet knows the cold and warmth; a roc soaring ninety thousand miles still has unfulfilled ambition. Square and round—the former is rigid, the latter is gentle; between square and round lies the universe. After a meal, returning home, I took a shortcut through Hainan Tuanjie Road. Reaching a tall building, I suddenly heard the sound of something falling, immediately ducked and ran, then turned to look. The third-floor iron window was empty. I leaned on the railing and sighed: "Heaven wants to destroy me in this place, but luckily I'm unharmed—good fortune must follow..." As a child, life was like Windows 7—you could click the mouse to get whatever you wanted, and someone would prompt you before making a decision. When you grew up, you realized computers aren't all Windows-based systems. Like Linux, before you type a command, unless you clearly know the consequences, errors will appear in all manner of forms. But without trying and erring, how would you know that errors can be so poetic... Watching couples on the street... Searching for her a thousand times in the crowd; suddenly turning, that person is holding a bouquet of roses. If you take a little time to reunite every day, then every day is the New Year. Your eyes remind me of her from years ago—helplessness, lamenting the vicissitudes of life, helplessness and despair. Thanks to heaven, my conscience isn't dead; this is the most complete ending of 2012. Sun Tzu, "The Art of War: Attack by Stratagem": "In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good." This is the theoretical basis for not saying "I love you" out loud. Love is like war—subduing the enemy without fighting is best; otherwise, keep your distance, and love will turn into grief. I had no intention of entering the jianghu, yet the jianghu brought me in. I wanted to retreat, but the jianghu would not let me leave... We're all inwardly cowardly; why pretend to be strong, to show off for a moment... Life is like being raped: some enjoy it, some resist. In truth, those who enjoy get what they enjoy, those who resist get what they resist. People easily accept what they inwardly long for, ignoring the essence of things, judging right and wrong by personal likes and dislikes. This is wrong. Air conditioners, alarm clocks, slamming doors—everything cycles. High heels, kettles, induction cookers—every sound enters the ear. Someone buried a dead mouse under a tree; the next year, the tree bloomed in full glory, but what you recall is that dead mouse... The quality of residents urgently needs improvement; otherwise, no amount of high-rises, plazas, or gardens will be more than a garbage dump. Plans never keep up with change, but one must still do one's best before accepting fate. Our generation's hope of upholding justice is nowhere in sight; family affairs and state affairs, all drain the spirit... Life is like compiling code: don't use variables that aren't yours, don't add parameters you don't understand, be extra careful with global variables—otherwise you'll play with fire and burn yourself, and die without closure. Theoretically, memory is nothing more than electrical current released by complex synaptic connections of brain neurons. Life experience tells us that memory is the carrier of life. To oneself, what proves we once lived? Memory makes you believe that your past was as you recall. History exists only because historical materials forcibly retain certain memory fragments in your brain, making you feel humanity has a past. So perhaps life is just the continuous characteristic release of electrical current on a complex vessel. In a dream within a dream, I held a long sword; in the dream I cut my finger. Dream is the activity of the cerebral cortex—fundamentally, it is electrical current. So the carrier of dreams is also electrical current. Dreams wake, people die, perfectly matching the idiom "removing the firewood from under the pot"—when the firewood burns out, the water's energy release also ends. So people die because the energy supporting life's electrical current runs out. Perhaps in the future, prayers should ask God to develop more new energy sources—this would benefit the people. This is also why some people who haven't fully died can be brought back by a strong current. Zhuang Zhou once doubted whether he was in a butterfly's dream; in light of the above, perhaps there's some evidence. So when you're alive, don't obsess over why you live. Don't fuss over the past. The dead are gone, the living don't pursue. Living in the present is what matters most. On the infinite recursion of life, who underlies whom is unknown. So don't care how high you stand, don't dream of living by leaps and bounds. Keep your feet on the ground; figure out your life's mission, explore, experience, and give it your all. So at the moment of death, you can smile and face it, telling yourself that death is a grand festival, and this life was not lived in vain. If you are wind, blow away the gloom; if you are light, pierce the darkness; if you are ordinary, you are a brick in the human world—move wherever you're needed. Tolerance, responsibility, dedication, sacrifice... these words should not be unfamiliar. "If it benefits the country, I would face life or death; how could I shy away because of fortune or misfortune?" should not be an empty phrase. Because at this point in time, we still need to sleep, to continue our great dreams of spring and autumn. Life is like League of Legends: no matter how good the lineup, without team awareness, you can't last twenty minutes. Life is like League of Legends: no matter how suitable your talents, no matter how complete your runes, no matter how badass the hero, if your late-game development is poor, you'll be killed into super-specter just the same. So League of Legends tells us that a person must not only surpass themselves, but also know how to advance and retreat freely. The farthest distance in the world is not that I'm at the edge of the sky and you're at the corner of the sea, but that I'm right beside you and you're on your phone. If coffee is a woman, drinking coffee late at night is like meeting the right person at the wrong time. Life itself has no right or wrong; fate causes the trouble. The wrong time, the right time, the wrong person, the right person—meeting the right person at the right time has only a one-in-four probability. Form is emptiness; it can be, it can be not. The air conditioner doesn't cool; the wind comes and goes. In truth, life is just like eating hotpot: the same ingredients, different dipping sauces, each with its own flavor... Behind every true master lies a story of playing the fool. The Buddha said all beings are equal; the Buddha too is a being. Since all are equal, why bow in worship! The more you experience the splendor of this gaudy world, the more you feel debts you cannot repay and sins you cannot atone for. Everyone blames society, but ask yourself honestly: in the same situation, would you extend a helping hand, would you hate evil? If not, shut up and reflect. No matter how puzzling this society is, I'd rather it be a physics problem—however laborious, there's always a principle to follow... Not a piece of music—however composed, someone always cheers. Some things—no matter how well you do them, one word from someone can make them not good enough. Society is this kind of society: either you're spotlessly white, or you must choose the moment to be black... You may come or not; Jinchang is there, neither cold nor hot. You may eat or not; the beef noodles are there, neither clear nor pure. You may stay or not; the hotel is there, neither clean nor dirty. You may go or not; the contract is there, unbreakable. You may pretend or not; the trap is there, neither deep nor shallow. To get by in this world, always remember the four characters "white paper, black words"—with ironclad evidence, if he dares to keep whining, slap it right in his face. Just like that, plain and simple, daily necessities, trivial matters—it's pretty good, isn't it. Outside is playing "Good People Have Good Dreams"—strive to be a good person, have a good dream. A person's achievement is not about how high a position they sit in, but how much untapped potential they discover while staying at the same horizontal level. Because positions are always occupied by someone. Those who think climbing higher reflects their self-worth actually have a self-worth that belongs to the position, not to themselves. A small insect keeps flying tirelessly in front of my computer screen. To be a person, one must have such courage and persistence. And I—before whose computer screen am I flying, who watches me with a knowing smile, thinking, "to do it, one must have such courage and persistence." Hugging the computer, I quietly listen to the sound of the fan. I cannot feel the existence of life; under the heavens, only I revel in the noise. Cold fingers, snowflakes filling the sky, a journey like a walking corpse—what was missed, what has yet to be realized, in this desolate ruin, I choose silence, abandon dreams, leaving a regret to savor at the end. Some things you only understand when you grow up; some loves you only know to cherish once lost. Time can never return to the starting point, and I still wait in silence at the original place. The regret of life is that some mistakes can only be held in the heart, with no chance to make amends. Life is a dead loop: no result, only an end. I wish I were a CPU, overclocked at full load 24 hours a day, for neither dusk nor dawn, neither car nor house; not a hard drive, holding only optional memories. But I am just a USB drive, a flawed plaything in others' hands. This era is complex; whatever you do, you need evidence. This era is also simple: with evidence, you can do anything. The former is a matter of morality; the latter, of law. Back to the starting point; from a physics standpoint, everything before is wasted effort. Living is for atonement; when you've suffered enough and paid your debts, the world will have no place for you. Some people, like some things, are used to being expressed; others succeed because of a strong desire to express. Humans are human not only because they adapt to the environment, but importantly because they try to transform it. The farthest distance in the world is not that you're online but invisible to me, but that you keep replying to my comments and never come online. I haven't forgotten you; I just don't have the habit of using the phone. Like a letter, a text, a QQ message—afterwards there are things to recall, imagining your expression at the time, as if it all happened right beside me. On the road of life, we may all have made mistakes, but when the mistake doesn't warrant death, we must act and repent in our conscience. We must never give up hope, must strive to save ourselves, drawing strength from hope and walking toward the light! Half alive, half dead. On the long road of life, one is bound to take a few wrong steps. You will find that someone isn't as good as you imagined; someone else isn't as bad as you imagined. No one has it easy. A cold is nothing special, but on a gloomy day, the roof leaks too. A power outage makes lightning our lamp, but the mosquitoes still won't accept it. A cold is nothing special; on an overcast day, the leaking rain feels like company. Lightning becomes a lamp, lighting the front window; fireflies drift far, sending their light. When you can no longer have something, the only thing you can do is make sure you don't forget. Everyone has their own fate; unable to find joy in it—this is called helplessness. Sometimes people think they lose things, and they really didn't lose them... it just got moved. Sometimes, when you can't correct a mistake, stopping from making more is itself a remedy. Even those who claim "everything is fated and we cannot change it" will look both ways before crossing the street. Just an instant, and after that instant, everything has changed beyond recognition. So much has happened without our noticing, in such haste that we haven't even had time to look back. Something has changed, but something not. I remain at the starting point, while the world has already changed beyond recognition. Don't call me cold-blooded; this society has given me a mask. In fact, a university is nothing more than a lavishly decorated restroom... I don't believe in fate, yet I am constantly toyed with by it. Everyone has their own obsession... Obsessing over one's obsession is obsession; not obsessing over one's obsession is also obsession. And everyone has their own fate. The greatest regret in life is, too easily giving up what should not be given up, and stubbornly holding on to what should not be held on to.